Before I answer some of your questions, I wanted to clarify something about my post, What Goes On In There?
As not to give anybody the wrong idea, my other 3 kids are by no means perfect children.
They all drive me bonkers in one way or another. In fact, I am raising the dwarfs Moody, Lazy and Meanie to my Snow White. I talked about it last year here.
I have a tendency to discuss Caroline’s behavior more often as I still consider this an adoption related blog. I would also say that about 75% of the people who read my blog have found me through the adoption community. Whether they have adopted, are in the process of adoption, or thinking about adoption.
Anyway.....
Anonymous said...
I am reading "parenting with Love and Logic'' it's WONDERFUL! It gives LOTS of great examples and even what to say, which is nice because sometimes I am at a loss for words. It is worth getting if you have not read it before :)
Denise
Thanks Denise. I do have that book and love the half of it that I have read. ( I am really bad about doing that...stopping half way through a book when another one catches my attention.) I really love the idea of the kids taking personal responsibility for themselves that is mentioned throughout the book. I have used it on my kids, but probably need a refresher read. :-)
Lisey said...
Sounds like a struggle. Hang in there... this too shall pass!!
What are my thoughts...
My first thought is that perhaps Caroline is jealous and wants to engage in all these negative attention seeking behaviours to be 'a part of something'. This kind of attentive seeking behaviour (whether positive or negative) stems from that desire to be acknowledged. It reminds of something I learned in the classroom (teacher and camp director) of 'no audience - no show'. You said Caroline was the best version of herself when her younger siblings weren't around - this makes perfect sense. She didn't need to demonstrate those attention seeking behaviours because the response/stimulus is gone.
Lisey, you are exactly right. Everything you said rings true. :-) I so wish I could somehow get her "private" behavior to be her "public" behavior. It can be painful to watch her act out with her siblings/friends and then be rejected. Unfortunately she can not understand this at this time. I pray one day it will click. Thanks for commenting. :-)
LUV2SHOP_KC said...
As for Caroline, as much as you love her, with having to older siblings that appear to be very close, she may be struggling to find her value in the family. Try and find somethin g you could put her in or something she could do that would define her and give her value in her own mind. Something the whole family gets excited to hear about or watch her. Just my thoughts.
Savannah and Avery are close, but they are 3 years apart. Savannah and Caroline spend a lot more time together than Savannah and Avery do. Though I do agree with what you said about her looking for her family value. Caroline is 5 1/2 but she is emotionally and maturely more like a 4 year old. This sometimes limits her from the "freedom" she sees the other girls have. I can seriously not wait for the days when she gains our trust and her boundaries and freedoms open up! It will be wonderful for us both!
Anonymous said...
Hi my name is Carmen and I am from Melbourne Australia. I often read your adoption blog. I am of Italian background and I grew up closely with people of central and eastern european backgrounds and I think personally that people from those parts of european backgrounds tend to want to be the centre of attention, show off, they are good looking, intelligent and sometimes controlling and overbearing. But they mean the best. Eastern and Central Europeans are very strong minded people. I live in a very multi cultural community, believe me!! They can be very loveable and passionate.
Regards Carmen, Melbourne Australia
I found your comment fascinating Carmen. Loveable and passionate describes my girl to a T! :-)
MeChele said...
I'm sure you have been asked this 1,000 x's but what camera do you use/edit software? Your pics are great!!!
Hi MeChele,
Thanks so much for the kind words. My camera is a Nikon80, which I have had forever. I have some great lenses though. I use 24-70 1:2.8 as an everyday lens and my 85mm 1:1.8 as my portrait lens. Love them. I edit some of my stuff in Picasa and the rest of it in Lightroom 2....depending mostly on time. :-)
MtnGirl said...
I think that the girls have their daddy wrapped around their fingers - he has tried to put his foot down, but will waver! HA HA! Maybe Lulu needs a canine friend....
You must be a fly on our wall MtnGirl, my kids have been begging their dad for another dog for almost 2 years! So far he has not relented, but I am thinking next summer might be the perfect time. ;-) The next big debate...what breed.
Carolyn Decker said...
Thanks Amy for all those good ideas. First, do you have a scheduled time during your day for your kids to read? And do you even structure your days in the summer? I'm trying to figure out the best way to do it. I've done it with and without and don't particularly like either way. I also, had the talk with my 10 year old this year. It was Baaaaaaad, so bad. I can laugh now, 6 months later. I want to read those books you got on that subject and maybe I can re-do our talk. lol
Hi Carolyn! No, we do not have a scheduled reading time. We fly by the seat of our pants in the summer; every day is different. It can get chaotic, but it is so nice to NOT be on a schedule for a couple of months.
Ok, I admit, I STILL have not had the talk with Avery. I am so nervous. She really needs to be told as she is starting to ask lots of questions. Ughhhhh. Would love to hear how your talk went wrong. LOL. I need to take notes. :-)
Candice said...
I severely cut down my wheat intake about 2 years ago and it has been a fabulous experience for me personally. I still eat brown rice and quinoa and have done a lot of experimenting in the baking department to make healthier treats. Now when I occasionally indulge myself by having a "wheat treat" I am amazed at how bloated and sluggish I get.
Keep it up! It really works for me:)
Thanks Candice!! I am about 80% wheat free. When I cheat it is for Mexican food or pizza! Yum! I don't mind being wheat free. I gave up bread (for the most part) a long time ago due to carbs. Of course I love fruit and vegetables so it makes it a lot easier. When I am craving bread I make those muffins and it satisfies me. :-)
Thanks y’all!!!!
